Speaking of blogger “firsts”, I have also
yet to write about screenwriting for television. While television scripts use
the same format or “codes” as movie scripts, the pace and story structure have
to be fairly different. At first, I thought that a TV episode was simply a
movie condensed to roughly forty-five minutes. However, after looking at them
more closely, I’ve come to realize that a movie is more accurately a condensed
TV series. Unlike a movie, a television show has to tell the same story over
and over again, dragging it out with a string of never-ending obstacles for our
lead. I would imagine that the logline for a TV series is much more crucial
than a logline for a movie, because the main idea for a TV series has to exist
for multiple years.
This morning, I revisited Gerald
DiPego’s advice from Tales from the Script, urging eager screenwriters
to read a script on it’s own, claiming that a good screenplay should be just as
captivating as a good book. The first time I tried this with The Breakfast Club, I started by reading
the script first. While I still enjoyed the experience, this made watching the
movie less exciting because I knew everything that was going to happen before
it actually happened. This time, I watched the second episode of the BBC hit, Sherlock, first, and then read the
script afterwards. By doing so, I was able to go back and really understand why
each scene was crucial to solving the case of the episode.
I noticed a few differences between
British TV and shows here in America. While this may be stating the obvious,
the British accents seemed to change the flow of the dialogue throughout the
episode. Since I’m convinced that the Brits speak faster than we do, reading
the script separately really came in handy this time. Also, another British fun
fact that I learned from watching Sherlock
is that a typical episode on a British TV show is an hour and a half long.
Considering that an episode of Spongebob
is capped at fifteen minutes, I had to stretch my attention span as the quirky
Holmes gallivanted around London with his pal, Doctor Watson.
In the script, I saw a lot of
similarities to Christopher Nolan’s 2008 film, The Dark Knight. Both Sherlock
and The Dark Knight take iconic
characters from the past and resuscitate them for audiences today. Because of
this, both of the scripts read more casually, as if the screenwriter was
confident that the movie or TV show would be an automatic success. And rightly
so. In episode two, “The Blind Banker”, Sherlock
creators Mark Gatiss and Steven Moffat write, “look behind you, Sherlock!” when
describing a scene in which Sherlock is surprised by an assassin. I have to say
that I was amused by the writers’ attempt to become involved in the story here.
This makes the script easy to read and meant to do what the episode is meant to
do: entertain.
The fun, relaxed style of writing in
this script may also have to do with the fact that this is a TV show, and
therefore requires less rigidity in the language. When reading, I felt that I
was revisiting my favorite pals Sherlock and Dr. Watson. I think this feeling
of friendliness is necessary for an audience to care about what happens to the
main characters from episode to episode. We want to look forward to that
Monday, or Tuesday or Saturday, when the next episode of Sherlock is released and we get to embrace our pals one more time
with friendly phrases like it’s been too
long and we need to catch up.
So, here lies my attempt to write a pilot
episode for a television show I’ve come up with. Or part of it, at least. While
it won’t be the traditional hour and a half British premiere, I hope it will
have the same loveable quality that I found in BBC’s latest hit, Sherlock. More to Come…
INT. APARTMENT, LOS ANGELES – MORNING
The apartment is small and
cluttered with stuff: books, papers, magazines covering every surface. A WOMAN,
mid 20s, stands in front of the fridge, grabbing a carton of coffee creamer. She
shakes the creamer but its empty. We can’t see her face.
This is YANI. She has
long, dark hair pulled back into a tight ponytail and a trendy suit on, ready
for work. She is in a hurry. We hear FOOTSTEPS behind her.
YANI
Erin, did you use the last of the creamer?
YANI turns around and we
see her face for the first time, tan, serious. A MAN without his shirt on has a
Styrofoam cup in his hand, and smiles weakly. He grabs a coat, and leaves the
apartment. YANI GROANS.
She tries to drink the
black coffee out of her mug, but SPUTTERS, then pours it down the sink.
YANI
(mumbling)
Just great.
ERIN (O.S.)
What?
ERIN enters the kitchen in
a robe, her hair a mess and lipstick smudged on her face.
YANI
Can you go out and buy some creamer today?
ERIN
(groggily)
Can’t. I’ve got an audition.
Beat.
ERIN
I
mean, unless you wrote me into your show. Then I wouldn’t have to go to the
audition...
YANI SIGHS; they’ve had
this discussion before.
YANI
I’m late.
She grabs a briefcase off
of the kitchen table and runs out the door, leaving Erin and all the mess.
EXT. STREET – MORNING
YANI’s blackberry rings
and she answers it, holding the phone between her shoulder and her ear, a
Starbucks latte in one hand, briefcase in the other.
YANI
(on phone)
What is it, Perry?
YANI is walking briskly,
pushing around an OLD MARRIED COUPLE checking out a STREET VENDOR’s necklaces.
YANI
(still on phone)
I
don’t understand the problem. You locked your set of keys in the storage room?
How’d you do that?
Beat. YANI polishes off
her latte before throwing it into a garbage can; then checks her watch.
YANI (CONT’D)
Yes,
I’m still listening. Odette can wait until I get to the studio and unlock it.
YANI jabs the crosswalk
button and waits to cross the street in A CROWD OF PEOPLE.
YANI (CONT’D)
It’s
not my job to calm her down, Perry; it’s yours.
Tell
her she looks sexy today. That should do the trick.
THE WOMAN standing next to
YANI turns and stares.
YANI
(to woman)
I didn’t mean that.
PERRY (V.O.)
(through phone)
What?
YANI
(into the phone)
I wasn’t talking to you.
WOMAN
(offended)
Excuse me?
YANI
Sorry,
not you. Well, I was talking to you and now I’m not.
Beat. THE WOMAN looks
confused.
YANI
Gotta go, Perry. Another calls coming in.
We hear PERRY’s faint
protests, but YANI hangs up the phone. When she looks up, THE CROWD has already
crossed the street. YANI hurries to cross when...
A taxi SCREECHES to a halt
right in front of YANI. YANI jumps, and the TAXI DRIVER HONKS his horn. Still
rattled, YANI runs to the other side of the street, short of breath.
CUT TO:
INT. PRODUCTION STUDIO – DAY
The set is cold, and it
looks as if it once was a garage. Cameras, lights, and miscellaneous cords
clutter the room, all focused around a stage furnished with a couch, coffee
table, and fake living room backdrop.
CAMERA MEN fix their
lenses, A COSTUME DESIGNER rushes past, rolling a rack of dresses alongside
her. AN AGENT talks into a phone in the corner. EVERYONE seems preoccupied.
ZOOM IN on PERRY, a skinny
man who can’t be over 25, wearing floods and a headset. At the sight of YANI,
PERRY brightens.
YANI
Bring these back when you’re done.
YANI throws him a set of
master keys and PERRY fumbles them, before scurrying off.
ODETTE, a woman in her
late 40s, walks up to YANI in yoga pants and a sweatshirt. She looks too old to
be wearing them. Her arms flail in the air: distraught.
ODETTE
Yani,
my feng-shui beads are in the storage room and I can’t start without them.
YANI exhales slowly.
YANI
Perry’s working on it.
ODETTE runs off, following
PERRY. It seems that YANI is used to conversations with ODETTE ending abruptly.
On her way to an office in
the back, YANI is stopped by RICHARD LAWSON, a tall, proud man, with a
permanent smirk on his face. He waves a stack of paper in front of YANI’s face.
LAWSON
(furious)
I
thought you said I was going to have more lines in this episode.
LAWSON pushes the papers
into YANI’S chest and she grabs them, then flips through the pages.
YANI
This is seventeen more lines than last week!
LAWSON takes his copy of
the script back, and points to his lines on the first page.
LAWSON
I
didn’t mean that I wanted to say more mhmms
and okays.
YANI
I
don’t have time for this, Rich. I have that meeting with Carl this morning,
remember?
LAWSON nods.
LAWSON
Hence the suit.
YANI looks down at her
suit, not sure if LAWSON is insulting it or not.
LAWSON
(grumbling)
Fine, fine. We’ll deal with it later.
LAWSON stomps off, and
YANI enters her office, finally. She shuts the door and leans against it; she
EXHALES.
YANI stacks up some papers
on her desk when...
KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.
MOVIES WATCHED: 11
SCREENPLAY PAGES WRITTEN: 44
NOVEL PAGES WRITTEN: 65
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